Tribute
That's the name of a book I am reading. It is a book that I bought in hardback almost a year ago, but I have been saving it. It is set to come out in paperback next month. I am finally reading it. Delayed gratification is a good tool for weight loss, but I am wondering if having this big hardback book bouncing around for a year (and going on every trip I've taken in the past year) is worth it.
I am looking at a lot of things that I am carrying around and wondering. I have all these plans to fix my house. I have the financing in place. I have a leak in my roof. I have the political will so to speak, but still I wait.
Today is the one year anniversary of mom's death. I wasn't in the hospital with her in those last awful weeks. I was three thousand miles away. I know that she was pretty much beyond caring if I was there, but I'm carrying it around with me that I wasn't.
Mom adopted kids in third world countries--you know, send in $24 per month to sponsor a child. I've been wanting to do that in her honor. She also gave the kids savings bonds instead of presents. I've been wanting to do that too.
It's time to get busy and do (the Grandpa Beauregard in me), but I'd rather curl up and read my wonderful book (the Grandma Beauregard in me). Maybe one is the first step for the others. I feel a new year's resolution coming on. [Pretty selfish, huh.]
Happy one year anniversary Mom, give Karl and Matt and Grandma and Grandpa a big hug from me. I love you.
I am looking at a lot of things that I am carrying around and wondering. I have all these plans to fix my house. I have the financing in place. I have a leak in my roof. I have the political will so to speak, but still I wait.
Today is the one year anniversary of mom's death. I wasn't in the hospital with her in those last awful weeks. I was three thousand miles away. I know that she was pretty much beyond caring if I was there, but I'm carrying it around with me that I wasn't.
Mom adopted kids in third world countries--you know, send in $24 per month to sponsor a child. I've been wanting to do that in her honor. She also gave the kids savings bonds instead of presents. I've been wanting to do that too.
It's time to get busy and do (the Grandpa Beauregard in me), but I'd rather curl up and read my wonderful book (the Grandma Beauregard in me). Maybe one is the first step for the others. I feel a new year's resolution coming on. [Pretty selfish, huh.]
Happy one year anniversary Mom, give Karl and Matt and Grandma and Grandpa a big hug from me. I love you.
posted by KathrynVH @ 10:03 AM
4 Comments:
At December 30, 2008 at 6:01 PM,
Marcel said…
Release the Grandpa Beauregard in yourself.
At December 31, 2008 at 7:20 AM,
Anonymous said…
I should be shocked at the way Adrienne expressed losing her mother. Instead of thanking the Lord for her Mother having her, she is condemming her for dieing. How sad. Would Adrienne wnt her back living with all the suffering she went through?
The way she spoke in her blog now gives me a clear view of the REAL kind of person Adrienne is.- She is not the only one that lost someone precious to her. Ask Gretchen how it feels losing a child, ask me about losing a child.
Maybe all of you should be praying for your mother's soul instead of cursing the Lord.
Aunt Pat
At December 31, 2008 at 9:44 AM,
EZ Travel said…
I support Adrienne's right to feel however she wants to feel about mom's death. Even those of you that believe in God and think he has a "plan" must get angry sometimes when that plan makes your life suck. Adrienne was just willing to say it out loud.
The REAL Adrienne is someone who feels things deeply and knows that she will be supported by those that love her even if she lets those feelings through to the outside world.
Kat, Lyle and I have been doing the sponsored child thing for years and we still call the kid "Oscar" no matter what his or her name is.
At December 31, 2008 at 10:45 AM,
Gretchen said…
As someone who does believe in God and God's plan, and someone who has lost a child, a sibling, and a parent I wholeheartedly agree with Adrienne's blog post.
Someone who never claims weakness is a liar. When strength was needed it was there in spades. And the absolute beauty of my family is the strength we glean from each other, it allows us to be weak when we need to be, it allows us to be human.
I have said the words Adrienne wrote, about Matthew, Karl, and Mommy. I have screamed them over and over. With Matt I had often wondered if I would have had the strength to turn off the machine if I had had a choice. With Mommy I learned I did, with my family beside me I have the strength I need. Wishing I still had Mommy with me is not the same as wishing her the pain and suffering she endured.
We made the choice to end her pain, knowing it would cause us extreme pain. And now we work through that pain in whatever ways we can. And together we can.
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