Spider and the fly, part deux
That night I was just about to sleep, when I heard a fly right next to my ear--YIKES! I smacked my ear (really hard) and got up and turned on the light and looked for the fly. Nothing. That was a little freaky. I had seen a big spider earlier in the bathroom, but I killed it. Did this fly escape? I had the window open earlier--is there a hole in the screen? The fly must be attracted to the light from my clock radio, so I pointed it away from me, turned out the light and tried to go back to sleep. Just as I was drifting off to sleep, buzzing, right in my ear. I smacked my ear (again, really hard, ouch). Nothing. I turned on the light. Nothing. I'm going insane--these are the first symptoms--hearing a buzzing in your ear. A brain tumor--that must be it. Now I'm certian that my ear wax must be the attraction for the fly. It's late at night and I'm very tired--those are my excuses and I'm sticking to them. I put on ear muffs, so the fly couldn't get in my ears. I turned off the light and waited. I must have fallen asleep, because I was startled out of sleep by the buzz and I hit my ear and got my ear muff. Logic seeped in and I decided that I probably dreamed the buzz, because it would be impossible for the fly to get inside the ear muffs.
I don't know if I've ever shared this, but I solve problems in my sleep. The problems I'm thinking about when I go to bed get turned over and inside out and everywhichway turned around and when I wake up in the morning I have the solution. Of course the problem has taken on epic proportions by this time and the soloution has no grounding in reality, but it makes perfect sense right before I wake up and in those few minutes before logic kicks in when I remember it upon waking. The fly was in my nose. That was the solution as to why I didn't kill the fly the two times I hit my ear and how I could still hear the fly with the ear muffs on. The fly had to be in my nose. OMG I like the insanity theory better.
I wake up at 6:30 in the morning with the fly was in my nose solution and decide it is time to go nuclear. It's bug bomb time. I get out every sheet I own and cover the wood furniture. I put down newspaper. I get my sudoku book and my purse and dress for the gym and I'll have plenty of things to keep me busy for the two hours the bug bomb will take. Fly, if you exist, you are toast. If not, I can blame this insanity thing on the bug spray.
Now I sprayed a bug bomb in the bathroom about a month ago. Shortly thereafter I was bit by a spider. I've lived in this house for six years. We have lots of spiders, but I had never been bit by a spider that I can recall. I didn't put those two together until this morning. Overnight, I was bit by a spider. Where did he hide during the nuclear attack? How did he survive?
At least there was no buzzing last night. Spiders rule, flys drool.