A Guy Walks into a Bar
Classic set up for a joke. My next speech is supposed to be funny--a string of jokes to amuse and delight. I have a really good "guy walks into a bar" joke, but I've already told it. So Megan, your job, should you choose to accept it, is to find me "guy walks into a bar" jokes. Anyone is welcome to help. Sick and tasteless jokes, need not apply.
I have this pile of papers in my office that I haven't looked at all summer. I certainly don't want my office to look like Norm's office(for those of you who have never seen Norm's office, lucky, it is mountains and mountains and mountains of papers dating back decades, everywhere--the desk, two credensa's, a filing cabinet, two chairs, a side table and the floor), so I'm making a Labor Day resolution to take care of this pile today. I can't go home until that pile is gone. Of course if I get right on it, I still have to wait until at least 5 p.m. to go home, so I might as well wait until 5 p.m. to start. And I don't have any plans and there's nothing on tv, so there's no rule that I have to start at 5 p.m.. Wow, I can procrastinate, procrastinating. Now that's talent.
I have this pile of papers in my office that I haven't looked at all summer. I certainly don't want my office to look like Norm's office(for those of you who have never seen Norm's office, lucky, it is mountains and mountains and mountains of papers dating back decades, everywhere--the desk, two credensa's, a filing cabinet, two chairs, a side table and the floor), so I'm making a Labor Day resolution to take care of this pile today. I can't go home until that pile is gone. Of course if I get right on it, I still have to wait until at least 5 p.m. to go home, so I might as well wait until 5 p.m. to start. And I don't have any plans and there's nothing on tv, so there's no rule that I have to start at 5 p.m.. Wow, I can procrastinate, procrastinating. Now that's talent.
posted by KathrynVH @ 10:00 AM
9 Comments:
At August 31, 2006 at 12:40 PM,
paulette said…
Three guys walk into a bar. An American, A Mexican and a Canadian. The American says "I'll have a Coors". The Mexican says "I'll have a Corona" and the Canadian says "I'll have a Diet Coke". "What" says the bartender, "don't you want a Molson's"? "No" says the Canadian, "I figure if these guys aren't going to have beer, I shouldn't either."
At August 31, 2006 at 1:38 PM,
Gretchen said…
A priest, a minister, and a rabbi walk into a bar, the bartender says "What is this a joke?"
At August 31, 2006 at 10:30 PM,
marty said…
Two guys walk into a bar. Seems like the first guy would have said 'duck.'
At September 1, 2006 at 12:40 AM,
Megan said…
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
At September 1, 2006 at 12:43 AM,
Megan said…
A guy walks into an Irish pub and asks the bartender,"What's the quickest way to Dublin." The bartender asks,"Are you walking or driving a car?" The man replies,"Driving a car." The bartender says,"Well, that's the quickest way."
First little piggy walks into the bar and drinks and drinks and drinks and asks where the bathroom is.
Second little piggy walks into the bar and drinks and drinks and drinks and asks where the bathroom is.
Third little piggy walks into the bar and drinks and drinks and drinks and asks where the bathroom is.
Fourth little piggy walks into the bar and drinks and drinks and drinks and asks where the bathroom is.
Fifth little piggy walks into the bar and drinks and drinks and drinks and starts to head out the door.
The bartender shouts,"Aren't you going to ask where the bathroom is?"
The piggy replies,"Didn't you hear? I'm the little piggy that goes wee wee wee all the way home."
http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20060821113252AAlj5uf Copy and past the link if you want more :_
At September 1, 2006 at 7:21 AM,
EZ Travel said…
I was going to give you Megan's first one since I just heard it on Prarie Home Companion this past weekend. But I like her second one better.
At September 1, 2006 at 10:12 AM,
Sean M. said…
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
At September 1, 2006 at 10:13 AM,
Sean M. said…
Whoops, messed up there. Well, here's what I was going to say:
I don't really have any good jokes, but I do like reading them! If you want jokes, my uncle Tim would be the one to ask. Some of them might be a little corny, but funny nonetheless.
At September 2, 2006 at 6:14 PM,
Tim B. said…
Hey, I resemble that mark.
1. A guy walks into a bar and says "ouch."
2. A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "Hey buddy, why the long face?"
3. A skeleton walks into a bar and says "I'll have a beer and a mop."
4. A guy brings a giraffe into a bar. Both get drunk. The giraffe is sprawled all over the floor. As the man is leaving. The bartender says "Hey, you're not gonna leave that lyin' there, are you?" The man says "I may be drunk, but I can tell that's a giraffe, not a lion."
5. A woman walks into a bar carrying a duck. A drunk says "Where'd you get the pig?" She says "It's not a pig, it's a duck." He says "I was talking to the duck."
ba-dum-ching!
Post a Comment
<< Home