Paint, part deux

I have a book. I did not have to go to Home Depot clueless--I have a book. It's called home maintenance for dummies. That's me. It goes step by step how to buy paint, what other supplies you need, how to prep before you paint and how to actually paint. It's very informative.

First (after you buy the paint and supplies, which I've already winged), you have to clean the walls. How many people clean their walls and say to themselves, hey, now I don't need to paint. It looks like hard work to clean the walls. It might very well be hard work to clean the walls. I kind of fudged that part. I have new swiffer wet mop thingies that you put on the swiffer sweeper, so I used that on the walls. They didn't look any cleaner, but it was so easy.

Then the book said that I had to put plastic over the windows and tape everything. It is impossible to tape popcorn ceilings, so that's the first thing that gets vetoed. I'm painting the trim anyway, so that's then next veto. That leaves the windows and the air conditioner (actually I forgot about the air conditioner until my paint brush was poised over it with a dolop of paint threatening to drip.) I dutifully cut out a perfectly sized plastic sheet for the window and set about taping it into place. Luckily I am a girl scout and I was prepared with a stool. After one side down, I'm starting to get pretty even with the tape, but now somehow the plastic is too big on one end and too small on the other. Very strange. That's ok, I have lots of tape. Besides, I am very neat--there's no way I'm getting paint on anything but the walls.

Next the book says to stir the paint for three minutes. Three minutes is a really long time when paint is trying to slosh over the sides and your arm hurts after one minute. I sort of fudged on the three minutes, but in my defense they had to know I was going to do that so they probably said three minutes to get me to do the two.

I bought these cute little inserts for the paint tray so that you can just throw them away without having to clean the pan--just like tin foil for cooking. I picked up two at the Home Depot, but she charged me for three. They are .50 cents, but I still went back to complain. The cashier very kindly (well actually she was rather rude) showed me that I had actually picked up three--they were stuck together. Yippee, because now I need more. Anyway, I put the insert in and carefully pour the paint into the pan. Not too much, just up to the bottom of the incline. I have a brand new brush.

The book says to start at the top of the back wall and work my way down and out. I'm ready. Dip the brush in the paint, drag it along the dotted incline to take out the excess paint that will try to drip and hurry up to get it on the wall. SPLAT. A big dolop of paint flies off the brush onto the paper that I have thankfully put down on the floor. So much for I'm super neat and I'd never drop any paint. I paint a three inch spot on the wall and my brush is out of paint. That stinks. So now I'm torn. Put more paint on the brush and risk more drips or less paint on the brush and paint for three years. I decide to try more paint, but experiment with turning the brush back and forth to avoid drips. Finally, I have the length of my stool done at the top and it's time to get out the roller. I load that thing up to the max with paint and I get it to the wall quickly before it even thinks about dripping. The book says paint liberally. Wow, rollers are so fast and easy. This job is going to take no time at all.

That was three days ago. Two walls down, six to go.