A Modest Proposal

No, I didn't read the book (essay?), but I vaguely remember the concepts. Any hoo, all chilling connotations aside, I want to propose to the people living in my house a work day this Saturday to clean the house from end to end. The minimum benefit to me, is that having said it out loud, I will actually have to do it. The maximum benefit is that perhaps I will actually gain some assistance from the other adults and we'll make some actual progress. At a minimum, I intend to deliver a clean kitchen to our Thanksgiving Day chef, Adrienne. She (unrealistically in my opinion) also wishes for a dining room table big enough to fit all of us (we're 10 including babies and significant others), so a clean house may help facilitate that wish as well.

I also want to invite my family to go to Disneyland at Christmas. I was (crazy unrealistically) hoping to get Melody and Lynn (and even more crazy Jon--what are you working three jobs?) to come sometime during December to join us, but I am assured that I must wait until next February at a minimum for a visit (can you say Vegas for Megan's birthday? Legoland for Kathy's birthday? These are wonderful phrases--try them out). P.S. I can't actually pay for any of this, but I am willing to put it on my credit card and accept small monthly payments.

So I am down to my last $500 of emergency money. I was going to try to forget all about it just in case my car broke down or I was otherwise caught in a torrential downpour, but Christmas at Disneyland is just a roaring inferno in my pocket. My proposal is that I will take Megan (whom I fully expect to help clean the house) and Caitlyn (who I am assured will not be there to be in the way of cleaning the house) and Marisa (who I am going to ask to be in charge of all logistics and cleaning on Thanksgiving, since she has to work on Saturday--clean the house day, and maybe assist in the evening if we are still going that long) and Chris (there are a couple of heavy things that Chris can move, but maybe he'd just like to buy his own ticket, because we'd hate to go without him, but I can't see him taking any time off from his real job to help me clean my house) to Disneyland for helping me clean my house.

I want Adrienne to help clean the house too and if she wants to go to Disneyland with Caity bear, that would be cool, but it would not be cool to go to Disneyland with Aunt Kathy, Mommy, Daddy Chris and Grandma--too many cooks. And Adrienne has made it pretty clear that she has no interest in Disneyland (with me anyway--and again, too many indian chiefs--I get it). So if Adrienne would take babysitting duty for part of the day and Mary Lou agreed to babysitting duty for part of the day, then Ris and Chris could enjoy themselves at Disneyland.

At Disneyland, I thought that I would go off with Megan in the morning and do stuff that we can't do with Caitlyn (Space Mountain and Soaring over California (can Caitlyn do that?)) while Mommy and Daddy Chris do fun things with Caitlyn during her best behavior period of the day. Then in the afternoon when Caitlyn starts to go down the whining hill, Megan, Ris and Chris can go off and enjoy the rest of the day, while Aunt Kathy spoils Caitlyn (very slightly--I'm out of money) and takes her home early. Sounds like a pretty fantabulous day in my head. [Megan, they decorate Its a Small World all in Christmas attire--it is so cool.]

So $101 to Adrienne for helping with cleaning day and $101 to Mary Lou for babysitting the twins while we go to Disneyland.

[Ok, I know my math doesn't add up, but I can also use my credit card and make small monthly payments. And I also know that I have completely left Adam out of this equation. He and I have a special arrangement (in my head), I expect him to be my slave and do anything I tell him with no thought of remuneration and he expects to be completely spoiled by me and get everything for free. It's very symbiotic.]

Hey, if Taj wants to fix the dishwasher and the garage door, I can probably squeeze another $101 for him (and if Adrienne does want to take Caitlyn to Disneyland, I can probably get Caitlyn a two day ticket and different cooks can go different days. Yes, Megan, if it is ok with Adrienne and Taj, I can probably get you a two day ticket too.)

I am feeling very Olympic today. I don't know if it is the anticipation of Disneyland at Christmas or a clean house. Yes, Disneyland--definitely. As Nicie would point out, looking at my hot mess, I sure don't care enough about cleaning. I just like the results. I want to already know how to play the piano, I don't want to actually practice.

So, any takers? [I'm looking at you, Gordon. Hey, maybe a clean house is as big a thrill as Disneyland. When I just thought of Gordon coming to my house--and cleaning it from end to end--what a rush. He might even put up the Christmas tree. Oh, now you have to come and visit us. You know you love Christmas at Disneyland and our house is going to be a mess again on the day after Thanksgiving...]