Too Superstitious

You know the thing that once you do that, your life is complete. I have been practicing law for 17 years, but I have never had a jury trial. I've been close, I've had lots of trials with the judge deciding the facts, but for whatever reason, no jury trials. I'm close to having a jury trial again. The case is really silly. I'm surprised the Plaintiff hasn't dropped the whole thing (and they still might). Unfortunately, when you go 17 years without a jury trial, you build it up in your head, so that what actually occurs can never satisfy the myth it has become. I was drafting my opening statement in my head--after 20 minutes I realized, the court probably won't let me talk that long and since my client is really a peripheral defendant, I might not get to talk at all. I take that back--the court has to let me talk, but I should really use Vinny's opening statement from "My Cousin Vinny"--"Good morning, everything that guy said is crap." [I think I watch too much tv.]

So what's the superstitious part you may ask. I've also never been in the hospital before (except for being born I guess). 47 years old and never broken a limb, no spiking fevers, no emergency room visits. But my doctor wants me to have surgery and stay in the hospital for two days. This would happen shortly after my scheduled jury trial. People die in hospitals. What if I have a jury trial and then my ticket is up and here I am going to a hospital right after that.

So I either get out of the jury trial, but there's always a next time (unless I quit practicing law that is) or I don't go to the hospital, but then what's to stop a bus from running me over. Oye.

As I said, way too superstitious. I recently met a guy on a plane and we started talking. He told me that he was an insurance adjuster and that he just finished closing his 348th claim in New Orleans. Then he said, you know we lost 8 people in New Orleans. And I said, lost as in, they quit and he said, no lost as in, they died. One fell off a roof inspecting the property and 7 were shot and killed by insureds. Then he told me about one incident that happened to him. He asked the insured if he had read his policy, no (they never do), but the insured is sure he is covered for everything. In fact, his policy covers wind damage, but not flood. So the insurance adjuster (we'll call him Ted, because I forgot his name) says you can see the six foot water line all around the house and everything is ruined, but Ted can only cover damage caused by wind, so he tells the insured--show me the cracks that caused the damage. They go around the whole house and only find one crack in the utility room, so Ted writes down that one room is a total loss, but he has to tell the insured that the insurance company can only pay for that one room. So Ted is writing it up and the insured comes back with a gun and points it him. So Ted, calm as anything says, wait just a minute I have to write up my notes (WHILE THE OTHER GUY IS POINTING A GUN AT HIM). The guy waits and finally Ted looks up and says "I'm going to help you cover this claim--there's lots of help from the government, fema, guarenteed loans, etc." and the guy says, "How are you going to help me, if you are dead." and Ted says "My aunts live in New Orleans--I know how things work." and the guys says "but you'll be dead" and Ted says "That's right, but I'll be here in spirit, right next to you the whole way and I'm going to solve your problems--don't you worry." So Ted says that he goes on a little more about how he's going to come back in the afterlife and work with the guy to solve his problems. Finally the guy throws down his gun and tells Ted, he's crazy and walks away. Superstition can be a useful tool.

I guess I'll need to bring garlic to the hospital with me. That should do it. [And be super careful around buses, but that goes without saying.]