The End is in Sight

I have been very very busy for a very very long time. Today my list of things to do was surprisingly short. My previous lists have lots of things crossed off and very few things left. I have a day and a half until I leave for the PTA Convention. I have three paperbacks and I'm ready for a break. Now all I have to do is push for one more day and a half and get everything else done. When I get back, I have to empty Mary's house. Everything that doesn't sell is going. I just assumed Good will would take everything, but they turned Jose away today, so they are off the list. I'll call St. Vincent de Paul. Then the house will be done and soon it will sell and then I'll really be done, except for the taxes. Then I'll really be done, except I'll be the president of pta, and then Adam will graduate and then I'll really be done (until Caitlyn is ready for girl scouts). The end is in sight. Good thing I have all those puzzles.

Gardening

Here is sunny California, we went from chilly to hot overnight. I haven't put away my snowman rug and only reluctantly folded my flannel sheets, missing them right away. But last night it was hot in California--like 90 degrees. Today I didn't even wear a coat to go to the gym.

So that got me thinking about gardening. Well actually, it was probably my neighbors down the street out this morning in their full gardening gear, pulling weeds that got me thinking about gardening, but the weather must be why my roses in the front are looking so great. Anyone (me) looking at my full bushes of roses in the front yard would think--wow, I'm a great gardener. Ok, I hire a gardener and he picked out the bushes and he planted them and he installed the watering system and he fixes the watering system and he maintains the roses and they only look this great when the weather converges exactly right, but I have actually dead headed the bushes six times. Ok, that is six times over seven years, but still they are my rose bushes.

But why would I want to be a great gardener--who wants to get their hands all dirty--dirt that never gets out from under your finger nails--yucky dead weeds--stinky dead plants--water on your shoes. They do have really cool gardening gloves though. I could never get those to work--I can't get a good grip on a weed in gloves and then the gloves get left outside and get all dirty and yucky. It never really works out. My one great regret.

I have a little patch of dirt right outside the garage that I pass by everyday. Everyday I wish that the little patch of dirt had flowers growing in it, instead of garbage piled up on it. Every once in a while I get industrious and I clear it off, but the only time I tried to grow anything, I quickly realized that the only source of water for this little piece of dirt would be me--very unreliable source indeed. For a little while there was a broken water pipe under the little patch of dirt, but I had it fixed before any really hardy weeds took over. Over the years somehow a bag of kitty liter got spilled over the little patch of dirt. I'm pretty sure nothing will want to grow there without a great deal of effort and possibly know how--both in short supply.

Remodel or move--I just can't decide.

Apocalypse Now

So I was thinking the other day, gee Adam is almost 17 years old. I'm surprized that he's not driving yet. His mom told him that he had to hold off because of his knee surgery, but he's had a clean bill of health for a while now. So Tuesday morning, I asked him if he was going to take driver's ed. Yes, he said, he's been looking into driver's ed on line and he can sign up for only $99. So I said, show it to me sometime and we'll see. That night he brings his laptop into my sitting room to show me the web site. I tell him we need to check it out with the DMV, so he clicks a few buttons and says that the DMV also offers driver's ed over the internet. This I have to see. It turns out that he was in dmv.com, not dmv.gov. I went to the proper web site and looked at the requirements. The dmv just says 30 hours--doesn't say where.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Adam was navagating around the driver's ed online program he started in and he said, here's a link to show that this course is approved by the dmv. Sure enough, they had scanned an official looking letter saying that this program is approved by the California DMV. So for $99 I tell Adam to go ahead and sign up.

Wednesday, Adrienne gets two e-mails to let her know that Adam has signed up for driver's ed on line. That night, Adam tells us that he doesn't have to pay until he does 20% of the course and he starts the course on line. He tells me that he had completed the first chapter--but it took him a while, because he took a nap in the middle. I put in my credit card info to pay for it.

Thursday, Adrienne got an e-mail that said if Adam finishes the whole course in five days, we get 25% off. That night Adam said he was on chapter two and he gave me a blow by blow of the information covered. It sounds pretty good. About an hour later he came out to say that he was now in the middle of chapter four. So I'm feeling pretty good about this program and then I think, omg Adam is going to be driving soon.

p.s. he's growing his mustache again just like a real grown up, of course for fun he also told a girl in his class that all his hair just fell out the last time he got it cut and he thought is was so funny she believed him. Stupidity is still the height of hilarity.

Civic Responsibility

The theme of our Toastmasters meeting tomorrow is Genocide. The fellow that picked the theme is in charge of table topics where you ask questions to each member about the theme, however there is also the job of Toastmaster who needs to have a few fun facts about the theme (nothing fun about genocide) and then there is joke master--talk about a tough topic. So no one was signing up to the Toastmaster or joke master. All other jobs were quickly snatched up, so that Miss ultra-involved (that would be me), still had no job and I certainly wasn't going to sign up at Toastmaster or joke master. And then there was the shooting at Virginia Tech. You feel so helpless and the news had no information for the whole day. You want to do something, but what?

My brilliant idea, volunteer to be the Toastmaster and get information about Darfur and other genocides to make other people aware of the issues. I'm so civicly responsible, but alas, someone else thinking ahead took the job of Toastmaster before I could volunteer, so I thought the only thing harder than being Toastmaster would be joke master and I signed up.

I actully have a good joke that is on theme and will make people think. Jerry Seinfeld did a sort of documentary after he ended his sitcom about going back to stand up called "The Comedian" I think. Anyway, he's doing his routine in New York and some German tourists come up to him after the show--they go on and on about how funny he is and one them says, there are no funny people in Germany--why is that? and Jerry says, maybe because you killed them all.

In order for it to be a surprise (to make if funny before you go to the thinking part), I'm going to start with Jackson's lesson in asserting positions. Now that's funny, even if it is off the theme.