Cloudy With A Chance of Rain

The clouds are really beautiful outside my window at the office. I'm on the ninth story looking out over mountains and a very large building with a parking lot, but at least half my view is mountains and large beautiful clouds.

I used to take pictures of sunsets. A lot of pictures of sunsets. I used to drive to the beach on purpose to take pictures of sunsets. I never got it right. I liked them and all, but I never got that great picture that I was shooting for. And it always made me mad to have a power line in a picture of nature. I was upset that I could never find unspoiled nature (like on tv--then I wised up and realized that on tv, they just erase the stuff that spoils the picture).

The shadows of the clouds on the mountains is just lovely, but I could never take a picture of it and do it justice. Sometimes you just have to live in the moment and understand that all you will take is the memory of the impression that it made.

The sky behind the clouds is really blue--that deep blue that surprises you. I saw a car that color blue this morning and thought--how come when ever I go to buy a car, they never offer it in that color blue. I mean, I'm lucky my car is grey. It was the only grey one. All the rest were white and black--both awful colors on a car (no offense to people with black or white cars--just my opinion for myself).

"The woods are lovely, dark and deep, but I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep..."

Cruel and Unusual Punishment

I hate to clean. Really. Surprise, surprise, surprise. So taking my entire Saturday to clean the entire day (with a few brief respites for overeating junk food to comfort me), took a lot. And I'm not any good at it. I was scrubbing the stove and the black stuff will not come off. I got most of the grease off, but that black stuff. The first few pieces that I dryed with a towel--nothing came off on the towel, but by the last few pieces, well, let's just say that my arm got tired and maybe I didn't scrubb the last one as well as the first one. And I couldn't see. I almost had to go get my reading glasses to clean the dishes, but towels are washable, so whatever I missed, the towel caught.

So to say that after nine hours of work, that I had only scratched the surface, is putting it kindly. I could tell the difference, having mucked in the junk, but any outsider would still vote my house as the messiest (dirtiest) house in the country. So having been relieved of any duty to provide a trip to Disneyland, I received an opportunity to have Berna (our housecleaner that I can't afford anymore) come today. She's there right now. She would have done in 10 minutes, what it took me nine hours to do and she does it a ton better. So my nine hours of hard work was all for absolutely nothing. And I don't get to go to Disneyland.

The icing on this cake of punishment is that today is Caitlyn's birthday. Adam and I blew up a bunch of balloons, but we couldn't show them to Caitlyn before school (because Marisa was afraid that she'd throw a fit and not want to go to school--"school is boring," Caitlyn announced to me last week). So the balloons are hidden in my bedroom, which means that I will not have Berna clean my bedroom (because she is really efficient--those balloons would be toast).

No good deed goes unpunished, but this is cruel and unusual punishment. I don't want to go to Disneyland anymore, I just want to move away. Who needs Disneyland at Christmas, I've got my eye on a two bedroom, one bath with a garden courtyard, close to my office owned by a fellow in my Kiwanis club. There's a vacancy...

A Modest Proposal

No, I didn't read the book (essay?), but I vaguely remember the concepts. Any hoo, all chilling connotations aside, I want to propose to the people living in my house a work day this Saturday to clean the house from end to end. The minimum benefit to me, is that having said it out loud, I will actually have to do it. The maximum benefit is that perhaps I will actually gain some assistance from the other adults and we'll make some actual progress. At a minimum, I intend to deliver a clean kitchen to our Thanksgiving Day chef, Adrienne. She (unrealistically in my opinion) also wishes for a dining room table big enough to fit all of us (we're 10 including babies and significant others), so a clean house may help facilitate that wish as well.

I also want to invite my family to go to Disneyland at Christmas. I was (crazy unrealistically) hoping to get Melody and Lynn (and even more crazy Jon--what are you working three jobs?) to come sometime during December to join us, but I am assured that I must wait until next February at a minimum for a visit (can you say Vegas for Megan's birthday? Legoland for Kathy's birthday? These are wonderful phrases--try them out). P.S. I can't actually pay for any of this, but I am willing to put it on my credit card and accept small monthly payments.

So I am down to my last $500 of emergency money. I was going to try to forget all about it just in case my car broke down or I was otherwise caught in a torrential downpour, but Christmas at Disneyland is just a roaring inferno in my pocket. My proposal is that I will take Megan (whom I fully expect to help clean the house) and Caitlyn (who I am assured will not be there to be in the way of cleaning the house) and Marisa (who I am going to ask to be in charge of all logistics and cleaning on Thanksgiving, since she has to work on Saturday--clean the house day, and maybe assist in the evening if we are still going that long) and Chris (there are a couple of heavy things that Chris can move, but maybe he'd just like to buy his own ticket, because we'd hate to go without him, but I can't see him taking any time off from his real job to help me clean my house) to Disneyland for helping me clean my house.

I want Adrienne to help clean the house too and if she wants to go to Disneyland with Caity bear, that would be cool, but it would not be cool to go to Disneyland with Aunt Kathy, Mommy, Daddy Chris and Grandma--too many cooks. And Adrienne has made it pretty clear that she has no interest in Disneyland (with me anyway--and again, too many indian chiefs--I get it). So if Adrienne would take babysitting duty for part of the day and Mary Lou agreed to babysitting duty for part of the day, then Ris and Chris could enjoy themselves at Disneyland.

At Disneyland, I thought that I would go off with Megan in the morning and do stuff that we can't do with Caitlyn (Space Mountain and Soaring over California (can Caitlyn do that?)) while Mommy and Daddy Chris do fun things with Caitlyn during her best behavior period of the day. Then in the afternoon when Caitlyn starts to go down the whining hill, Megan, Ris and Chris can go off and enjoy the rest of the day, while Aunt Kathy spoils Caitlyn (very slightly--I'm out of money) and takes her home early. Sounds like a pretty fantabulous day in my head. [Megan, they decorate Its a Small World all in Christmas attire--it is so cool.]

So $101 to Adrienne for helping with cleaning day and $101 to Mary Lou for babysitting the twins while we go to Disneyland.

[Ok, I know my math doesn't add up, but I can also use my credit card and make small monthly payments. And I also know that I have completely left Adam out of this equation. He and I have a special arrangement (in my head), I expect him to be my slave and do anything I tell him with no thought of remuneration and he expects to be completely spoiled by me and get everything for free. It's very symbiotic.]

Hey, if Taj wants to fix the dishwasher and the garage door, I can probably squeeze another $101 for him (and if Adrienne does want to take Caitlyn to Disneyland, I can probably get Caitlyn a two day ticket and different cooks can go different days. Yes, Megan, if it is ok with Adrienne and Taj, I can probably get you a two day ticket too.)

I am feeling very Olympic today. I don't know if it is the anticipation of Disneyland at Christmas or a clean house. Yes, Disneyland--definitely. As Nicie would point out, looking at my hot mess, I sure don't care enough about cleaning. I just like the results. I want to already know how to play the piano, I don't want to actually practice.

So, any takers? [I'm looking at you, Gordon. Hey, maybe a clean house is as big a thrill as Disneyland. When I just thought of Gordon coming to my house--and cleaning it from end to end--what a rush. He might even put up the Christmas tree. Oh, now you have to come and visit us. You know you love Christmas at Disneyland and our house is going to be a mess again on the day after Thanksgiving...]

Too Old for Advice

I have nothing to read. Megan suggested that I go to the library. How do you explain to someone just starting out (to whom this is actually good advice), that you've been there, seen the movie, taken the test, failed and moved on accepting your personal limitations without somehow crushing the dream of independent adulthood and painting a large L on your forehead.

It is probably easier to just go to the library and try, try, try again. Free is a very good incentive when used appropriately.

P.S. I'm happy to pay the fines--I like contributing, but buying the book in paperback (or on sale--I have to have what I have to have) is cheaper though not in the long run or in the larger sceme of things. But really, it takes one day to read it and 10 weeks to remember to return it--it is like paying five dollars for a bag of chips. I mean I know I want to stop at the 3.5 ounces, but I'm not paying a dollar for a small bag, when the bag five times bigger is less money. I know I'm eating the whole bag that is five times bigger and I know that it costs two dollars and fifty cents more that I could have saved, but I'm not paying five times too much. I know--big L.

In my defense, I always believe that I'm not going to eat the whole bag and I often do take two meals to eat the whole bag. Further, one time I actually weighted out one ounce bags and as I recall, the first two little baggies were perfectly wonderful (but then I threw the rest of them away because they got stale and I really had a complex about wasting chips, so I try not to think about it.) Where on earth was I? I mean I know that it is Friday and all, so I'm probably going to buy a nice big bag of chips, but I have nothing to read, so it is kind of a waste. A good book and a bag of chips--any people wonder their whole lives over the meaning of life--duh.