I Need Me Some Quincy
Next, was an hour for lunch with a required hour of a program on substance abuse. Lawyers are twice as likely as the general population to have a problem with drugs and alchohol. The program was called "Lawghter is the Best Medicine." It was a video tape. I did not have very high expectations. The guy (his name was Carter) said that until a person had a problem with substances, then it was really just a hobby. He admitted that he had a substance hobby. That was mildly amusing. Then we played "spot the signs of abuse" bingo. "Has excessive car trouble" was one of the signs of possible substance abuse. Carter pointed out that it's just one of the signs--you can't take it in a vacuum--some people just drive really shitty cars. But if the car has lots of dents, or you know the lawyer makes good money and they drive a beat up old car, it could be a sign. Cocaine is very expensive.
Then Carter went on to tell us how to avoid being in a position to let stress get to us so that we'd take our hobby to the next level of abuse. He said watch out for Bob--you know that guy who hates everything. He doesn't want to be there at your office and he's bringing everyone down with him. He needs to get his wish and be set free from his job.
Then he talked about comparing outselves to the other guy. He went to Harvard with Obama. That guy's going to be the first black president and Carter tells jokes. Talk about imposible comparison. One time he'd just given a great speech--he actually saw a tear in the audience--he made some guy cry, that he laughed so much. And he got paid to do it. He's coming off this high walking tall through the airport and he picks up a Forbes magazine and one of the top 50th richest people is someone he went to law school with. That guy is worth 1.8 billion dollars and Carter is thinking to himself that he's worth 1.8 thousand and that's counting the check in his pocket. He was so depressed. He's got a nice house, he gets to do what he loves, he travels and yet he felt like he didn't measure up. He said he thought about and he finally figured out that he has something that other guy will never have--8,000 unsold copies of his book in his garage--you can't buy that.
I don't remember the intro, but he talked about how to surround yourself with happy people. Give sincere praise. 400 million people go to bed hungry around the world. 500 million people go to bed hungry for a little praise every night. Where are you going to get praise for all your hard work--not from your kids that's for sure. And then he told us about his friend Quincy. He loves Quincy. "I need me some Quincy" he says. He says according to Quincy, he's lost about 6,000 pounds--every time he sees him: "You've lost weight--you look like you've lost 25 pounds" and Carter thinks, nothing fits, I don't think I've lost weight, but hey if you say so, yes, yes I have. Thanks for noticing. Quincy loves Carter's house. "Wow," he says everytime he comes in the door. "This place is huge. Just like taj ma hall." Carter beams with pride--"oh, this old pile of bricks." Carter said that it was some time until he went to Quincy's house which is twice the size of his house. Carter invited Quincy and his wife over for a barbeque when he got a new grill. Carter overestimated the cooking time and the chicken was charlbroiled. It was burnt black. His wife went right away to order pizza, but Quincy and he gnawed on the chicken and Quincy said, "this is good for my teeth--you have to tell me how you did this." Carter just loves his Quincy.
There was a girl at Lorimar--I don't remember her name, but I remember that when I first met her, I had no use for her. She was always coming around Estimating and bothering us for something dumb. And then one day she said, she liked my blouse. If you know me, you know that I do not care about what I am wearing. My standard is clean, ironed (or at lease wrinkle free material) and not full of static cling. If I get all three, I'm very happy. She liked my 9.95 K-mart blouse? I had no illusions that she was going to run right out and get herself a 9.95 K-mart special, but I thought, it is a really good color on me. I do look good in this blouse. I saw her in a whole new light. I was happy when she came into the department. Soon she asked me about the art on my wall and she had the same pictures at her home. I don't have an actual recollection, but I'm willing to bet that I gave her what ever drivel information she wanted and gave it to her with a smile after that.
I was at some seminar and they told us the way to get people to buy "you" was to compliment them--it doesn't have to be big, just sincere. That's a nice outfit, wow, I love your shoes, etc. And I remembered that girl from Lorimar and I thought she went to a seminar. How smart is that and it works so well. I keep forgetting to use it. I never notice what people are wearing. But it's worth thinking about making the effort to praise people. They do work hard and how great is it to have someone else notice. I need me some Quincy.