House Hunter

I love that show. And I love Clean House and Sell This House. So I have a sign on my front lawn to sell my house. Have I taken any of the wonderful advise from all these shows to heart? No. My house is such a mess and the only hope is that I have signed a contract to sell, so I must move at some point. In looking for a new place, I have lots of ideas. I watch House Hunter--the people give their realtor a set of must haves and then the realtor interprets their wish list and shows them three houses that have pros and cons. Sometimes they can't reach their wish list on their budget and sometimes all three meet their wish list and they weigh other negatives, like street traffic or location. So I set about trying to come up with a wish list. At least two or three bedrooms (office and guest room in case Adam wants to move back someday), two baths, a garage, nice landscaping, dishwasher, central heat and air, low maintenance, quiet (that's a biggie), near my office--it is a very long list. My wish list is completely out of my budget range (there is a house in my current neighborhood that meets all of this, that is so far out of my price range that I'm sick with envy). So I scaled back. In order to get semi-luxury of nice, but low maintenance, that I can afford, I'm looking at mobile homes. Location is important (near the train and Dad would work). Air Conditioning is important (though I really don't know why--I'm never going to turn it on, but nevertheless not having it makes me feel poor and I'm so tired of feeling poor, but I digress). My roommates complicate my choices. One place that I looked at will take the dog, but not my sister and another place that I looked will take my sister, but not the dog. I have tried to think outside the box and go further up the train route, so I am looking at a place in Simi Valley (unfortunately the jury is out on whether they will take the dog too--but I'm more hopeful because the neighbor has a big dog, oh joy). Then there is a place a little closer that I really like, but they don't want the dog. We are trying to negotiate that the dog will hide until she dies, but that doesn't seem very realistic. Then the place next door to my Dad really wants me--they'll take the dog, but not my sister. I think the guy is going to try to find her a job, so she can get her own place--that's how badly he wants the sale. So I have three options (just like on House Hunters): Will it be the farthest location that has trees and a dog yard, but isn't as nice inside and might make me feel like I live in a tuna can; Will it be the place that makes me feel like I'd be living in a vacation home (gorgeous tree and view), but I'd have to hide the dog until she dies and the rent is the highest; or will it be the most affordable place that is really nice inside, but really depressing outside (no trees) that will make my sister homeless? I know what you are thinking--this is not television--I have other options: townhouse, condo, smaller house, crappier neighborhood--all are still on the table, but undesirerable (stairs--no can do; hate condo's; another house with repairs--no thanks; crappier neighborhood--gas prices, safety). I asked my realtor to look at duplexes for me in crappier neighborhoods. Number one--they all involve a longer commute in not safe neighborhoods; Number two--they are all fixers--not me; and Number three with a bullet--not a single one in my price range has central air conditioning. I know I'm not going to turn it on, but it is the principle of the matter. [The realtor is so cute--she said, why don't I just put in air conditioning. Yes that would solve all my problems--spend money I don't have for something I won't use--I need professional help, not a contractor, a psychiatrist, but I digress.] And my house has not sold. It is run down and full of clutter. I know all the things that will keep it from selling from my favorite shows, but I can't seem to do anything about them. I finally called someone who can work the miracle of Clean House, but she's really too busy (read she knows I won't want to pay enough to make it worth her while) to save me. Woe is me. I started packing last week. I packed the girl scout cookie jar that I will never use. I remember winning it at a raffle. I was so excited--I really wanted it, but I have absolutely no use for it and it takes up a lot of space. I am so screwed.